My Birth Story!

I have been meaning to blog about the birth of Heidi for a while now but I honestly just haven't had the time. When I have down time I spend it cleaning or just standing in the shower. I never knew just how relaxing ten minutes in the shower could be until I became a mom.

A common question I get is what was your birth like? It is a story I like to tell because by societies standards today my birth story is anything but "typical." I knew before I ever became pregnant that I wanted to have a natural childbirth (no epidural, no pain medication) in the water and with a midwife at a birthing center. I was lucky enough to have all of that except for the birthing center. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with pregnancy induced hypertension at 24 weeks and gestational diabetes at 30 weeks so at 32 weeks I had to transfer from the care of my midwives at the birthing center. Luckily, in Knoxville we have a hospital that allows midwives to do waterbirth deliveries so bam problem solved.

During the course of my pregnancy I somehow managed to gain almost 50lbs and on the day Heidi was born I was just south of 200lbs despite having a pretty strict diet due to the diabetes. It was mainly fluid because my hands, feet and face stayed pretty swollen throughout my whole pregnancy. I was so big nobody thought I was going to make it past June much less to my July 30th due date and everybody was talking about how I was going to have this huge baby. At 36 weeks my ultrasound put her at 7lbs 14 oz.

I managed to make it to my 39 week appointment where my midwife decided to strip my membranes in hope of starting labor because the hospital I was delivering at was going to stop having water births on August 1st so I was starting to cut it really close. My midwife told me that I would know within 48 hours if stripping my membranes was going to work. This was on a Tuesday. On Thursday I was walking through walmart with my mom when my first real contraction hit. It caught me off guard but I didn't think to much of it. Well about 10 minutes later another one came. This continued to go on all day and all afternoon. Then, in the middle of the night they started coming every 3 to 5 minutes a part so I knew this was the real deal. I wanted to labor at home as long as possible so with the help of Daniel I used coping methods such as soaking in the tub, massage and bouncing on the birthing ball to manage the contractions. By 7:00 on Friday morning by contractions were every 2-3 minutes apart and strong so I called my Midwife and told her I was on my way to the hospital. I just knew I was going to have Heidi that day the 26th of July which just so happened to be my Dads birthday. When I arrived at the hospital I was only dilated to a 2. Talk about a blow to my ego. I had been up all night my contractions were 2 minutes apart on the machine and strong so they decided to keep me. I walked the hospital halls all day long trying to get this labor going and at 4:00 pm when they checked me again I was still only at a 2. She said I was still in very early labor because true labor is contractions with cervical change and that my contractions would be even stronger when I got into true labor. I think I looked at her like she had 4 eyes. She gave me two choices. One, she would give me a shot of morphine to take the edge off and send me home to rest or she could break my water and see if that started cervical change and if it didn't she would start me on Pitocin. I knew that I did not want Pitocin it is the devil however, after being in labor for as long as I already had been it was tempting. After some tears and talking with Daniel and the midwife I knew that I wanted to go home. I even tried to refuse the morphine because I did not want an medication going to my baby. However, the midwife did an amazing job of helping me realize that I was not being a bad mom for taking it and that it would help me rest. We left the hospital around 5:30 that afternoon and I came back home. When I got home I actually ate a taco and then tried to watch a TV show however by that time the contractions seemed to intensify tenfold. Take the edge off my ass these babies were coming strong and fast about every 1-2 minutes at this point but I refused to go back to the hospital. I knew that when I went back I was not leaving until I had a baby. 
I like to consider myself tough but this was really starting to test that. I spent the early part of the night trying to rest and actually labored by for about6 hours. I wanted Daniel and my mom and dad to rest. About 3:00am though I just could not do it by myself any longer. I was exhausted. I woke Daniel up and basically told him he had to help me. He woke up and we put my birthing ball in the shower and I bounced on it while the hot water ran down my back. The contractions to me felt like the worst period cramps combined with the worst food poisoning you've ever had. About 6:00am I told my mom I had to go to the hospital.  I was actually sitting on the toilet laboring at this point because that was the most comfortable place for some reason. I called my midwife and told her to meet me at the hospital. The only problem was that I realized I could not stand up. The contractions were so intense and I was having a ton of pressure. I honestly thought I was going to have Heidi on the toilet in our tiny little bathroom. This was the first time I actually panicked a little. My mom told me I was going to have to stand up or she was going to call the ambulance. That got me on my feet but I think it took about 10 more minutes to actually make it to the car. When I did I was on my hands and knees in the backseat while Daniel drove like a bad out of hell to the hospital and my mom braced me to keep me from falling. When we made it to the hospital I remember riding the elevator and a contraction hitting right as the doors opened. The nurses took me straight to the same room I had labored in all day the previous day because my water tub was already set up in there but it was empty and I was convinced there was no way it would be full before Heidi made her appearance. By this time it was 7am and the nurse checked me and I was 6.5 centimeters. That was music to my ears and honestly gave me the strength and energy I needed for that last home stretch. I remember the nurse helping me labor until my midwife got there. She had me focusing on this little spot on the wall and slowly breathing through the intense contractions coming every 30 seconds at this point. I looked at that little spot and just hummed through every contraction until my watertub was full. All I wanted was to get into the water. Finally around 8:45 I did and as soon as I got in my contractions went away and for 10 minutes I got the most amazing sleep of my life. I completely passed out lying over a birthing stool in the water. It is phenomenal how the body works because it gave me the rest I needed to finish the hardest but most rewarding task of my entire life. I remember being woken from my precious slumber by a horrible contractions and suddenly I felt like I needed to take the biggest poo of my life. When I told my midwife this she told me to just poop then. I started to push a little and that's when Heidis head started to move down. It was the most intense thing I have ever felt. This went on for several minutes and finally I just stood up and said "I cant do this anymore." Everyone in the room said yes you can you have to. So, I just sat down in pretty much a split on my knees and pushed like nobodys business. I remember thinking I am not pushing for an hour this baby is coming out. I remember putting my hand down and feeling Heidi crowning. My midwife Blair told me to turn over and grab my knees so I did and with one final push at 9:51am on Saturday July 27th after over 32 hours of intense labor and 15 minutes of pushing Heidi Catherine Wilder made her debut. She was born in the water and immediately brought to my chest where she stayed until the blood stopped pumping into the cord. Daniel then cut the cord and I got out of the tub and on to the bed where Heidi still stayed on my chest skin to skin. (Oh, I forgot to mention I was naked as a jaybird the whole time I was in the birthing tub and I don't give two damns who saw what). My favorite part was nobody was in a rush to take Heidi away from me to clean her or weigh her or any of that. For over an hour it was just her on my chest. My sweet little baby was perfect and I felt like a rockstar! I am not ashamed to say that I feel pretty badass for doing what I did. I don't know too many people that would have done that. I also loved that we proved everybody wrong. She was born just 3 days shy of her due date and my gigantic baby only weighed 7lbs 6oz. The worst part of the whole experience was having to stay in the hospital for 48 hours after she was born because no exaggeration I was ready to put my clothes on and go home about thirty minutes after she was born. I am confident I could have came home and been just fine.

I never expected  I would have such a long labor and I never anticipated just how intense the contractions would be. It wasn't easy but I will not hesitate to do it again. I might even have a homebirth next time.  I am a woman and I am strong. I was made for this and I did it. I know I had doubters and of course that helped to drive me but in the end for me it was about doing what I felt was best for my baby and by gosh I can say YES, I DID THAT!

I am going to try to write more blogs on this crazy thing called being a mom and about my adventures in being a natural birthing, extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, delayed vaccinating, child-lead weaning "granola" mama.

Turning 27

So, yesterday I turned the big 27 and to celebrate that and my Bulldogs beating Kentucky on my birthday, I am writing this blog in Maroon and White. As far as birthdays go, yesterday was probably the best birthday I have had since I turned 22. I wish I could remember all of that birthday but it involved a lot of tequila and my college roomates and friends. I just know it was good because I have pictures to help me piece it together. Anyway, back to this birthday... I knew it was going to be a little difficult because it was the first birthday I have had since my Mamaw passed. I was also very excited that my mom was able to come up and spend it with me. The morning started off at 7:07am (I always set my alarm to end in a 7, I dont know why I have just always done it and I am superstitous), Daniel and I got up and dressed to go run in the Color Me Rad 5k here in Knoxville. If you have not been, trust me you are missing out!!! We ran it with my friend Candace and it was seriously the most fun I have had in a long time. It was my first 5k but it was surprisingly easy. I think because we were having to much fun to realize we were actually running. I will let the pictures speak for themselves.

I also received a ton of presents for my birthday. The most meaningful was a card that my mom gave me with 100.00 inside. The reason this is so meaningful is because when they were in my Mamaws saftey deposit box they found the 100.00 with my name on it from my Mamaw. My Mamaw has given me 100.00 for my birthday since I can remember so it was extra special that even though she is not here she found one last way to celebrate my birthday. Needless to say, that 100.00 will never be spent. I also recieved a new sheet set from my mom. I know most people don't get excited about that but I freaking love bed stuff! Next, I opened Hoots gift which was a custom made #17 Mississippi State jersey with my nickname on the back and a pair of Mississippi State pajama pants. I knew from earlier conversation that I was going to be surprised when I opened Daniels gift after opening Hoots and I didnt know why until I opened his first gift to me which was also, a custom made #17 Mississippi State jersey with Christy on the back. They had both ordered me the exact same thing from the exact same website without ever speaking and neither new about the others gift until the night before my birthday when Hoot showed Daniel what she had gotten me. I thnk they both got a really good laugh out of it. I guess the two people who I thought knew me best actually do know me best!

What are the chances? At least Bucky and I can match during the games now! GO DAWGS!

 

 

 

 Daniel also bought me a diamond horseshoe necklace that I have been asking for forever, Mississippi State leg warmers and earrings and a super warm night shirt that will be getting put to good use very soon. He also gave me a very special gift which was taking me to Young Williams Animal Shelter and letting me pick a dog to pay the adoption fee for so that it would be guaranteed a home. This made me so happy seeing has rescuing and helping dogs is my passion. I of course chose a 1.5 year old Pitbull named Blaze who has been at the shelter since June. There was something about his sweet eyes and old spirit that caught my eye. He was also one of a few dogs ready for a home whose adoption fee had not yet been paid. I can't wait to find out who adopts him because I know they are going to have a best friend for life.
After the shelter we went to Brix because I was craving pizza but wanted some that was relatively healthy. I split a whole wheat veggie pizza with my mom and could barely eat 2 pieces. I am loving that since I have been on Advocare I am not able to eat as much as before! I also treated myself to FroYoz which is probably my favorite place ever and I have not had it in 2 months. It definetly did not disappoint. We came home and finished watching the second half of the state game and just napped and had a lazy day the rest of the day! I didnt do much but it was an amazing day with amazing people! If yesterday was any indication of how my 27th year will go then I will most definitely NOT be disappointed!

Our cheerleaders!

My Angel

August 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm my life changed forever. I said goodbye to my hero, my best friend, my Mamaw. My Mamaw died 3 weeks to the day from being admitted to the hospital. She lived less than 3 weeks from being diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. She went peacefully, surrounded by family and friends with my brother Alex and I holding each of her hands. God needed an Angel and on that rainy Saturday afternoon and he got his Angel, he took MY ANGEL from this earth.

Anyone who knew my Mamaw and I knew the bond that we shared. We were extremly close and ever since I can remember I have always been compared to her by everyone who knows us. I am often called Cat Jr or Lil Cat. I not only look a lot like her but I also share her passion for life, her quick temper and the uncanny ability to speak before I think. I am a spitfire and strong willed just like she was and honestly nothing makes me prouder than being compared to someone who was so admired and loved by everyone who met her.

My Mamaw pretty much raised me. I even managed to get kicked out of daycare when I was four so that  I could stay with her while my parents worked (see I told you strongwilled). When my Papaw died my Mamaw pretty much lived with my family and I. Many times she was the first face I saw when I woke up in the morning, when I got off the bus from school and because when my Mamaw did stay with us she stayed in my room, she was many times the last face I saw when I went to bed at night. Growing up she was my greatest confidant. We would lay in bed at night and I would just talk to her about whatever came into my head. She knew my hopes, my dreams, my secrets and my fears. She never judged me and she never told anyone anything I asked her not too. Even after I moved on to college all the way up to the week before she went into the hospital I would still call her almost daily to just talk to her. I always looked forward to going back home just to sit with her on her front porch early in the mornings before anyone else was awake and just talk with her about whatever came to our minds.

My Mamaw supported me in everything I did. She was always there to cheer me on or give me a swift kick in the butt when I needed it. She never once in 26 years let me down or made me feel like I was not worthy. Many times my Mamaw was the reason I kept my head high and kept pushing forward. If it had not been for her and her love and guidance I would not be who I am today. I could never in a million years repay her for everything she has done for me. She will always be the most beautiful soul I have ever known and there will never be a day that passes that I dont think of her and smile. I cannot wait until I name my own daughter after her someday (Heidi Catherine Wilder) or Heidi Cat as she will be called will know all about the amazing woman she was named after, my Mamaw, MY ANGEL.

My mamaw was there as I took my first breaths in this world and I was there holding her hand as she took her last breath and left this world. Life really does come full circle and I am blessed that for 26 years I got to call the woman who touched the lives of so many Mamaw.

LIFE

Whew... Life has been CRAZY!! Just when we thought life was going to slow down it went charging full speed ahead! Daniel and I have officially been together for 2 years now on July 7th and married for 3 months. It has been an amazing thus far. In fact, if I had known marriage was going to be so fun I would have done it a lot sooner! So, anyway here is a little update on life the past few months.

1. I got a new position, well not new, it's more like I added another full time positon on top of my already full time postion. I work for non profit, they will save money anyway they can. Over worked and Under paid has taken on a whole new meaning in my life. I guess you could say I am a case manager, therapist, nurse, lactation consultant, birthing coach, chaffeaur and baby daddy all rolled in to one! Yep, I'm busy but it is NEVER dull and my weeks fly by like you would not believe.

2. HOUSE HUNTING SUCKS! Seriously, Daniel and I have been looking for a house for a few months now and we have the worst luck ever. I guess it does not help that we are pretty picky. I mean honestly a house with more than 5 acres, fenced and a barn within 20 miles of Knoxville and less than half a million is not to much to ask for. Sure we have had several options but everytime we find something we like someone else rips it right out from under us. Properties that have been on the market for over a year with no interest suddenly get bought right up as soon as we show interest. On the bright side, our landlord is letting us rent our current house on a month to month basis so that takes off a lot of stress considering out lease is up next month...

3. My retainer broke. Okay thats not that important but it is a permanent retainer thats been on my teeth since 7th grade and last night half of it decided to break. It was sad.

4. ROCK CLIMBING- Daniel and I finally got back on the rock. We had not been climbing since Daniel proposed to me, which by the way, can never be topped as my favorite climbing trip. Daniel looked like he had been climbing everyday since, I however looked like an out of shape chimpanzee. I could not let the boys beat me however, so I survived.

5. Betty freaking Crocker- I have to mention that I have been getting my groove on in the kitchen thanks to pinterest and my good friend Jennifer Morgan! I'm not to shabby either. No one has died from my cooking and our house has not burned down. See told you I was not too shabby. I cannot wait to have bigger kitchen though because I have a whole ton of kitchen gadgets and supplies from our wedding that I cant use because I have no room.

6. Daniels busines is a booming which is awesome! He has said all along this was going to be a good year and I think thus far it is surpassing his expectations! Thank God because we all know I am not the bread winner of the family.

Well, I guess that's really about all right now. I know I have more but I will wait!  In the mean time it is time to go to the orthodontist to get this retainer glued back into place.

My Best Friends Wedding

One of my best friends from childhood Madeleine Clark (now Vantine) got married on April 28th in Manchester, New Hampshire and there was no way I was going to miss it. Not only was Madeleine my side kick and partner in crime growing up but she also stood beside me on my wedding day. She was the one who looked like a 2012 version of Audrey Hepburn.
  Well, Daniel and I had known about her wedding for a pretty long time but between the hassel of our own wedding and just being the procrasinators that we are we did not buy plane tickets until the week of her wedding and we did not book our hotel until the day before the wedding in the airport in Washington D.C. We like to keep things interesting and our "Wilder" adventures wild. Needless to say this weekend was jam packed with complete and utter randomness.
  For starters, I got to meet a life long friend in person. Yes, you read correctly, Tiffany Green and I have been friends since we were 13 and we had never met in person until April 27th. You see, I grew up in Mississippi and Tiffany grew up and still lives in Connecticut, so when she found out we would be driving through on our way from NYC to New Hampshire she decided we should meet for dinner. Daniel thought I was crazy when I told him this story but lucky for me Daniel is into crazy and thought the whole idea sounded awesome. So, we met Tiffany and her boyfriend at Tai Too an amazing Vegetarian Tai restaurant right on Yales campus. When we arrived Tiffany and I hugged like we hadnt seen each other 13 years and then she was the ultimate tour guide and showed us all around Yale. I have never felt so smart in my life. After the tour we had dinner and needless to say that was an adventure in itself because the menu didnt have pictures and we were not sure what we were ordering. Needless to say the food was amazing and we spent a couple hours just laughing and talking. Any person who did not know any better would have thought Tiffany and I had grown up side by side. It was an amazing time and I cannot wait to do it again!
  After dinner, Daniel and I still had about a four hour drive to our hotel. We sang at the top of our lungs for about and hour of it and then I passed out. Unfortunately for him, this is very common for me on long drives. We finally arrived at our hotel at midnight and crashed. The next day, we shopped our little hearts out in Manchester and then met up with my life long friend and neighbor Ashley (she was the pregnant photographer at our wedding) and her  mom Sharon. We all had lunch together and Ashley gave us the CD of our wedding pictures. Daniel and I left lunch estatic to get back to the room and look at our wedding pictures. Daniel had a surprise in those pictures and I was excited to see his reaction to them. I had taken "sexy" pictures for him and he definetly loves them. Anywho we won't get into THAT adventure on this blog....
That afternoon was Madeleines wedding and boy was it beautiful. Madeleine is the most beautiful person I have ever met both inside and outside and her wedding was a reflection of that. I laughed. I cried and I thanked God for giving me such an amazing friend. At the reception we ate amazing food, got the cutest wedding favors (which airport security made us throw away, shame on you!) and met some of Madeleines amazing family and friends. As we left the reception that night I broke down and cried like a baby. Previous to our wedding I had not seen Madeleine in 6 years and I had gotten to see her twice this year alone. I cried because I am not sure when I will see her again and because when you see someone again that you have spent so long missing you realize just how important they are to your life and how much you love and care for them. The beautiful thing about my friendship with Madeleine however is that it can be 6 days or 6 years we still catch up right where we left off without ever missing a beat.
  Sunday morning we woke up to start our long trek from New Hampshire back to New York. We arrived at the airport and I found out we were going to be riding in a Prop plane. I have flewn a 100 times in my life and up until this point I had been lucky enough to miss out on the hell. It was loud. It was bumpy. It was tiny. It was terrifying. I think I almost broke Daniels hands while he was SLEEPING!!! I hope I never have to go through that again. It is safe to say I Thank God many times over when my feet finally hit the ground.
  Daniel and I have been in 10 airports on 10 planes in one month. We have traveled to more places in one month of marriage together than most people get to do in a lifetime.  I am thankful however that we have a little break until the next airport though. However, there are no breaks until the next adventure!

First Stop on Wilder Road: Dancing

Most people who know us know that if it had not been for dance Daniel and I would have never met and the fact that we did meet dancing is truly wild in and of itself.  I am an athlete and outdoors girl by nature. If it involves a ball, bat, horses, a field an arena, a court or running than you can sign me up. However, under that rough and tough tomboy exterior has always been a classy lady who loves to dress up and dance around just like any girl does. Growing up in small town Mississippi I never had the opportunity to really get involved in a good dance studio and I had so many other things I was involved in that dancing never really was an option for me. However, I am not one to ever give up on my dreams so I knew, somewhere, somehow, someday I was going to dance.

            Now, on to Daniel, I have often ask him where his love for dance evolved and he says it comes from watching old movies with his mom and wanting to be like the men in those movies. I honestly think he just wanted to jump at any chance he could get to dance with a pretty girl (but that’s just my theory). Like I, he never really had the opportunity to start dancing until he was older. He did get a head start on me though and got involved with ballroom dancing in college. I have never really found out exactly how he got started dancing in college but I suspect it had something to do with another woman… tsk tsk..

            Anyway, as fate would have it, in September of 2009 I started researching dance studios in Knoxville. I wanted something new to try and decided that now was a good a time as any to start working on that dancing dream. I stumbled upon some advertisement for a really cheap private lesson and told two of my friends about it. Lucky for me my birthday was coming up and so they decided to surprise me with a lesson for my birthday. I was immediately hooked about 10 minutes into the lesson when I realized that dancing was hard and I wasn’t good at it (I love a challenge). Well, to make a long story short, out of every studio in Knoxville and out of every teacher in Knoxville Daniel and I found our way into a family business. My teacher was his teachers’ son. It took several months for Daniel and I to ever meet and once we did we were inseparable.

            I did not start dancing to make new friends and I sure did not start dancing to meet guys. What girl in her right mind would say, “Hey, I want to meet men, maybe I should start ballroom dancing,” anyway??? I sure as hell never in a million years thought that I would meet my husband at a dance studio. However, not only did I meet my husband there I also found a passion that I had to keep hidden and suppressed for so long. Dancing is the first adventure that Daniel and I experienced together and as I sit here thinking about it, someday, it may be one of our last. I can imagine that even when we can no longer climb mountains or travel the world together someday, that we will still be able to dance. It may not be as graceful or quick but it will still be us, together, swaying to Frank.

Officially a Wilder!

It is hard to believe Daniel and I are going to be married a month this weekend! Time has went by so quickly since the wedding and I have to be the first to say that I LOVE BEING MARRIED! First off, it saves a lot of gas. Daniel and I did not live together before we were married so we spent a lot of time driving to each other. Second, my bank account got substantially bigger. I am a social worker for a non profit organization, that is pretty much equal to being an aspiring actor in LA (we are all poor). Third, I have a house with a backyard! Apartment life was equal to torture for me. The next step is buying a farm soon and I cannot wait!
There are plenty of other benefits to married life but I won't bore you with the details.

Our Wedding was the most amazing day of my life. I can honestly say it was perfect. Okay, Daniel might have stumbled through his vows but I can't blame him for that. I mean I did look pretty amazing so I am sure he was distracted ;) If there is any advice I can give for anyone planning a wedding it is to not sweat the small stuff or the big stuff and your wedding day goes by faster than you can ever imagine so cherish every moment. I wish I had trusted this advice when it was given to me. To everyone who celebrated our day with us, Thank You!  I will post another blog soon about our incredibly awesome two week getaway to Europe soon. Stay tuned because now I can really start talking about adventures on the the "Wilder" side of life!