My Angel

August 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm my life changed forever. I said goodbye to my hero, my best friend, my Mamaw. My Mamaw died 3 weeks to the day from being admitted to the hospital. She lived less than 3 weeks from being diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. She went peacefully, surrounded by family and friends with my brother Alex and I holding each of her hands. God needed an Angel and on that rainy Saturday afternoon and he got his Angel, he took MY ANGEL from this earth.

Anyone who knew my Mamaw and I knew the bond that we shared. We were extremly close and ever since I can remember I have always been compared to her by everyone who knows us. I am often called Cat Jr or Lil Cat. I not only look a lot like her but I also share her passion for life, her quick temper and the uncanny ability to speak before I think. I am a spitfire and strong willed just like she was and honestly nothing makes me prouder than being compared to someone who was so admired and loved by everyone who met her.

My Mamaw pretty much raised me. I even managed to get kicked out of daycare when I was four so that  I could stay with her while my parents worked (see I told you strongwilled). When my Papaw died my Mamaw pretty much lived with my family and I. Many times she was the first face I saw when I woke up in the morning, when I got off the bus from school and because when my Mamaw did stay with us she stayed in my room, she was many times the last face I saw when I went to bed at night. Growing up she was my greatest confidant. We would lay in bed at night and I would just talk to her about whatever came into my head. She knew my hopes, my dreams, my secrets and my fears. She never judged me and she never told anyone anything I asked her not too. Even after I moved on to college all the way up to the week before she went into the hospital I would still call her almost daily to just talk to her. I always looked forward to going back home just to sit with her on her front porch early in the mornings before anyone else was awake and just talk with her about whatever came to our minds.

My Mamaw supported me in everything I did. She was always there to cheer me on or give me a swift kick in the butt when I needed it. She never once in 26 years let me down or made me feel like I was not worthy. Many times my Mamaw was the reason I kept my head high and kept pushing forward. If it had not been for her and her love and guidance I would not be who I am today. I could never in a million years repay her for everything she has done for me. She will always be the most beautiful soul I have ever known and there will never be a day that passes that I dont think of her and smile. I cannot wait until I name my own daughter after her someday (Heidi Catherine Wilder) or Heidi Cat as she will be called will know all about the amazing woman she was named after, my Mamaw, MY ANGEL.

My mamaw was there as I took my first breaths in this world and I was there holding her hand as she took her last breath and left this world. Life really does come full circle and I am blessed that for 26 years I got to call the woman who touched the lives of so many Mamaw.